SNES Timeline - Part 7: Where I am Terrible at 2 Months Worth of Games

Games in this post:

-Extra Innings-
-Shodan Morita Shogi-
-Super Tennis-
-HyperZone-
-The Chessmaster-
-Smart Ball-
-Romance of the Three Kingdoms II-
-World League Soccer-

OK, I finally pulled myself away from Final Fantasy IV and am ready to continue on. I at least had to reach the point of Cecil becoming a paladin, one of the best moments in gaming. Even GameInformer thinks so. Video game releases certainly have their ups and downs though, in terms of quality. This was as true in 1991 as it is today, though back then specific dates weren't watched as closely. After some solid games including the aforementioned Final Fantasy IV in the month of July, August and September were filled with mediocre and/or niche titles that cover a wide range of genres but all have something in common. I'm horrible at them. I really wanted to like some of these, but no matter what I did, these games just got the better of me. So, without further delay, let's begin two months worth of me failing at games.

Extra Innings - Anime Meets Baseball

Genre: Sports
Developer: Sting
Publisher:
Sony Imagesoft
Released:
8/9/1991 (JP)
March, 1992 (US)

We'll start with the fourth baseball game released for the SNES. We talk nowadays about the ridiculousness of re-hashes and yearly releases, but now I've found the Super Nintendo had 4 baseball games released in 3 months. If I saw screenshots of the outfield views I probably wouldn't be able to tell them apart. I'm not even sure anymore which one I liked best. I know it's not this one though. I'm only average at sports games but this one I was terrible at. A huge thing with early baseball games is how the fielders move after a hit. They need to head in the right general direction until you take over controlling them, but in this game they barely even move. Also, the outfielders can't even throw to the infield without the ball bouncing, like they are all weak and tired. The game tries to stand out graphically by using a chibi / anime style, but the gameplay puts this one back on the bench.

More info, and buying options:

My Grade: C
Worth Playing: Nope. There are better baseball games around.

Shodan Morita Shogi - I Hope You Like Tan

Genre:
Board Game
Developer: Seta
Publisher: Seta
Released:
8/23/1991 (JP)

When I first saw the cover art for this game, I knew I was in for something exciting. I mean, is that a table, or a footstool? I had to know! Sadly, there is nothing about tables in this game. Instead, it's a video game version of a Japanese traditional game similar to chess. I imagine it worked well for what it was, but every screen is just so boring. I would think people interested in playing the game would rather play with a real set than this. The mechanics seemed to work well although for someone like me, it's hard to tell the pieces apart. This would probably get my vote for most boring presentation in a video game, ever. A table. On the cover. Seriously.

More info, and buying options:

My Grade: C-
Worth Playing: Not unless you're really into traditional Japanese board games. Or you like tables and the color tan.

Super Tennis - Yay, a Sport Other Than Baseball

Genre: Sports
Developer: TOSE
Publisher:
Tonkin House (JP)
Nintendo (US)
Released:
8/30/1991 (JP)
Nov. 1991 (US)

At first glance, this appears to be a pretty good tennis game. There's no license so the characters are all made up, but that was certainly not a big deal in 1991. You have different court types and different types of shots you can pull off. The graphics are nice and the player animations are well done. Then you start an innocent looking singles match and the dark and ugly side of the game shows up. Of course I got trounced my first game. I expected it when I saw there were no difficulty choices. Then I lost the second set, and the third, and I thought maybe I'm just bad. In five sets total, The computer missed a shot ONCE. Even during 10 or 15 shot volleys, they didn't miss. Oddly, after that single missed shot, they double faulted on their serve, giving me the only two points I got in my time with the game. Some difficulty levels would have been very good for the game but as is, it's near un-playably hard. Or I really am just horrible at tennis games.

More info, and buying options:

My Grade: C
Worth Playing: Only if you want to feel bad about your gaming skills.

HyperZone - F-Zero With Guns

Genre: Shooter
Developer: HAL
Publisher: HAL
Released:
8/31/1991 (JP)
Sep. 1991 (US)

I should warn you first that this isn't as great as "F-Zero with guns" makes it sound, but it's a good description on the surface. No one would fault you if you saw a screenshot of this game and thought it was F-Zero. Rather than a racer, HyperZone is a rail shooter, meaning you can move your ship around the screen, but it's constantly moving forward in a straight line. There's a track that's mirrored above you and if you slide off, your ship takes damage. There are also lots of enemies to shoot on the screen. There's certainly challenge to it. You need to be careful or you can run out of lives without even finishing the first level. Even with a unique perspective, HyperZone still manages to feel generic. It's mildly entertaining but there's not much variety and I couldn't see it holding anyone's attention for more than a single playthrough. The Mode 7 use is well done though.

More info, and buying options:

My Grade: B
Worth Playing: No

The Chessmaster - Prepare to Feel Stupid

Genre: Board Game
Developer:
Software Toolworks
Publisher: Altron(JP)
Mindscape(US)
Released:
2/17/1995 (JP)
Sept. 1991 (US)

I know how to play chess, in the same sense that a 4 year old with an Easy-Bake Oven knows how to cook. I know what pieces do what but that's about it. So when I come across a game like The Chessmaster I have fairly low expectations of my own performance. After playing it, however, I have found that my expectations were way too high. I thought I could at least pull off a few wins against the most beginner difficulty setting, but I was wrong. In other words, I hate this game because it makes me feel like an idiot. At least You Don't Know Jack makes fun of you when you're dumb. This game just sits there all stuck up, waiting to see if you've had enough. From a technical standpoint though, the game does a good job of providing board, piece, and skill options, and everything is laid out quite nicely. Oddly, the game wasn't released in Japan until 1995. I'm assuming it was to try and make them feel dumb along with the rest of us.

More info, and buying options:

My Grade: B+, but the game gave me an F
Worth Playing: Yes, if you are a chess prodigy or need your ego taken down a peg

Smart Ball - How to Make a Platformer When the Art Guys Go on Strike

Genre: Platformer
Developer:
System Sacom
Publisher:
Sony Imagesoft
Released:
9/13/1991 (JP)
March, 1992 (US)

Smart Ball is an action platformer where your character has been transformed into a small blue blob by an evil wizard. The Japanese version lets you know this at the beginning of the game, but the US version just puts you right into the first level. That makes sense because in 1992 we didn't care about such things as story and context. We just wanted to hit buttons here in 'Merica. Aside from adding an interesting game mechanic where holding a button lets you climb walls, being a ball doesn't make much sense. It makes the game seem like not much effort was put into its protagonist, and really hurts what could have been a decent game if the main character had been at all interesting. You couldn't have made him a mountain climber? Or a cat? That would have worked with the mouse and bird enemies. What about a spider? Just put some legs on the blue ball and you're done! Even the title screen is completely without imagination.

More info, and buying options:

My Grade: C
Worth Playing: No

Romance of the Three Kingdoms II - A History Lesson Five Miles Deep

Genre: Strategy
Developer: Koei
Publisher:Koei
Released:
9/15/1991 (JP)
May, 1992 (US)

The title of Romance of the Three Kingdoms references a classic Chinese novel by the same name, that covers the history of the Three Kingdoms era in China. This period featured many different warlords and makes a great setting for a strategy game like this. This is not a game to sit and play for a couple hours. There are a handful of campaigns to choose from and multiple warlords to play each one, but the game basically plays the same way each time. Fortify your land, train an army, and deal with the neighbors either through war or diplomacy. Overall the game plays out very slowly, and you might not know that a move early on was a serious mistake until much later. It takes a certain type of player for this genre. You have to have a lot of patience and be able to micro-manage very well. I have neither to any serious degree, so as much as I'd love to get into it I tend to lose interest after a while, and long before I can finish a campaign. Graphically the game is very basic, but that's never been a focal point for turn-based strategy. This series is still around so there are better options than this, even on the SNES. It's interesting for fans to see how far things have progressed though.

More info, and buying options:

My Grade: B
Worth Playing: No

World League Soccer - Someone Give Me a Red Card

Genre: Sports
Developer: ANCO
Publisher:
Imagineer (JP)
Mindscape (US)
Released:
9/20/1991 (JP)
April, 1991 (US)

It's very difficult sometimes to look at old sports games, especially ones that try and be a simulation rather than an arcade "light" version of the sport. 10 Yard Fight and NBA Jam will always be good because they aren't trying to make you feel like you're playing their respective sports. They are pulling certain aspects into a game and doing them well. I don't know what the state of soccer sims was in 1991. Maybe this was the best there was at the time. World League Soccer was ported to multiple systems and apparently sold well, but that's hard to imagine looking at it now. It's a top down view of the field with very tiny players that all look the same. It's very hard to tell where you are on the field without looking at the minimap, so lining up shots is difficult. The only real reason to play it today is to better appreciate current gen soccer.

More info, and buying options:

My Grade: D
Worth Playing: No

I never know how to end these things in an entertaining way. We've covered two whole months but didn't have much that was memorable to show for it. The system was definitely a roller coaster in terms of releases. October 1991 was a great month for SNES in Japan, so there will surely be some memories sparked next time. This post also covered the time during the US launch of the Super Nintendo. If you're curious, the launch titles in the states were F-Zero, Super Mario World, Gradius III, Pilotwings, and SimCity. A pretty good start. Most US dates will continue to lag behind Japan by a couple months, but maybe we'll see a simultaneous release or two. Thanks as always for reading, and God bless,

High Expectations Father and Achieving Perfection Through Christ

I have a bit of a challenge for this post. I have a few ideas in the works for future posts, but I decided to try something different, and asked a friend what meme he'd like me to cover. His response was High Expectations Asian Father. The concept if you're unfamiliar is that of a stereotypical Asian father who demands academic perfection from his children, only in these cases the idea is applied to other situations for the sake of humor. Let me start off by saying this is a stereotyped character and does not represent any actual view or opinion. The post is not intended to cause any offense whatsoever. That's why I'm leaving any racial references out and the meme will simply be called High Expectations Father, or HEF for laziness.

HEF memes always involve holding his children up to impossibly high standards. No matter what they achieve, they will be a failure in HEF's eyes. How does this compare with God's expectations of us, his children? Are they impossibly high, and we're all being set up to fail, or is God more of a hands on parent than we realize?

Perfection is the Goal, Not the Price of Admission

Philippians 3:12-14 NLT
12 I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

I feel like a lot of people don't really understand the requirements to be a Christian. It seems that a common opinion is "I'll never be able to act perfect all the time, so why bother?" and if perfection was the requirement, they'd be right. In reality, living the perfect Christian life is the goal we work towards, not some type of initiation before you can get in. Being a Christian is a process, not a light switch. Imagine if someone wanted to be a chef, and they said "Well, I know I'll eventually burn dinner so why bother learning to cook?" Most people would say that's a silly reason not to even try cooking, and the same could be said for countless other examples like driving, sports, writing, music, and so on. The goals that we set for ourselves in life require dedication and practice in order to get things right. Our goal as Christians is no different except for one very important point.

Our Heavenly Father Knows Our Limits

Rather than make us puppets to His will, God loved the humanity He created enough to give us the choice to follow him or not. He freed us to make the decision on our own to follow His will, and the downside to that is that since we aren't God we make mistakes. This is true for every single one of us and God knew it would be from the first man and woman.

Ecclesiastes 7:20 NLT
20 Not a single person on earth is always good and never sins.

Romans 7:18-19 NLT
18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.

Sin is the great equalizer that puts us all on the same footing in terms of our standing with God. We're all imperfect on our own, so we all need saving if we want to enter into a perfect heaven. Luckily for us, God planned on that too.

Luke 5:30-32 NLT
30 But the Pharisees and their teachers of religious law complained bitterly to Jesus’ disciples, “Why do you eat and drink with such scum?” 31 Jesus answered them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. 32 I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent.”

Unlike HEF, God really wants us to achieve His goals for our lives. Jesus was born a human, but was also fully God, which is why He was able to live a sinless life. That sinless life led to an innocent death that provided the perfect sacrifice that mankind needed. Christ's death and resurrection paid the price for our mistakes already, and bridged the gap between us and the God who wants us to come to Him.

Romans 5:8 NLT
8 But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

Colossians 1:22 NLT
22 Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.

Practice (And God) Makes Perfect

As I said earlier, Christianity is a process. It's more than just believing Christ died for us and rose again. There's no certificate or pin we get and then just go about living like we did before. Not to sound like I'm botching a Spider-Man quote but there's a responsibility that comes with the gift of salvation. We need to work at living up to the perfect life that Jesus paid the price for. But why bother if you've already got your salvation? Because an unsaved world is watching.

The world looks at Christians the way HEF looks at his kids, demanding absolute perfection. When the world sees Christians making mistakes, they cry foul and call Christians hypocrites for "pretending" to be perfect. Christians are not perfect and never will be. God sees us as perfect, and as a result able to enter heaven, because He sees us through the blanket of Christ who has covered our sins. It's for the sake of unbelievers that we strive to follow the perfect example of Christ. People need to be shown how high the possibilities are with God, even though they are waiting to see how far we are able to fall. The best starting line to get there is by practicing Jesus' commands to love God, and love our neighbors.

Matthew 22:36-40 NLT
36“Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?” 37Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

1 John 4:18 NLT
18Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.

When the world sees us screw it up, remember God isn't looking down like some disapproving parent, He's reaching down to help us stand up again. I encourage Christians to keep running the race God has placed before you, even when it feels like you'll never make it. To anyone who's reading and doesn't know the Lord, first of all, thanks for reading. Second, try not to forget that Christians are still human, and when Christians get things wrong it doesn't mean Christianity isn't still worth it. Here's a couple more memes to end things as usual.